Are you rationalizing your relationship? Do you continue dating someone even though you are pretty sure there is someone better out there for you? Or maybe it’s the reverse and you’re seeing someone who is less than perfect for you, but you are afraid you won’t find anyone better? These are all signs that you may be settling for less in a relationship.
Don’t get us wrong – no one will meet 100% of your romantic expectations, but you should be with someone who makes you feel better for having them in your life even as you accept their shortcomings and they accept yours. A good relationship should leave you fulfilled and happy. When you’re settling for less in a relationship, the problems and the inadequacies you see in your partner don’t go away and often get worse over time.
Signs That You Are Settling for Less in a Relationship
- “It’s not the best, but it’s not the worst”. When you say that to yourself, you know you are unhappy, but you convince yourself that you are OK with a lackluster future.
- You are changing who you are for the sake of the relationship. When we say this, we’re talking about revamping your values or giving up your dreams in order to make the romance work.
- You find that you are the one who is giving in or giving up the majority of the time. Relationships take compromise from both sides – if you continuously put your needs on the back burner, you are probably settling for less in a relationship.
- The person you are with is hyper-critical of you – maybe your clothes aren’t right or you don’t pay enough attention to them – there could be any number of things that aren’t right in their eyes. If you find that you are constantly under a microscope, you need to move on before you lose your self-esteem.
- The relationship is comfortable, but you have a nagging feeling that something is lacking. Sometimes a person can look great on paper, but not be the right one for you. A relationship should fulfill you, not make you feel like you are still missing a piece of the puzzle.
- You hang onto the relationship because you are hoping your partner will change – someday. But, what if “someday” never comes?
Why Do People “Settle”?
In romance, as well as in life, people often settle for something that isn’t exactly what they are looking for because of fear. In the case of romance, fear of being alone can be a powerful reason to put up with less than what we want or need from a sweetheart. We are wired for social and physical connection with others and most people don’t like change, so it is often just easier and less scary to “go along” and stay in a romance that is familiar to us. However, you deserve to be in a loving, happy relationship! It takes courage to end a romance that isn’t meeting your needs, but you’ll be better for taking that step and freeing yourself to find the person who completes you. You are worth the effort!
Don’t settle for less in a relationship! We offer life coaching services to help you understand what you want and need from a romance. Let us use that information to help you meet the matches that mean something. For more information, call Elegant Introductions in South Florida at 305-615-1900 or contact us today.