Is there a scientific formula for long-lasting relationships? John and Julie Schwartz Gottman, a long-married couple (they’ve been wed for almost 30 years) who happen to be psychologists, think there is. Their findings, and how they came about them, are detailed in this fascinating article. Though the Gottmans’ work focuses on couples who are already together, there’s a lot here that Jewish singles can relate to, as well.
Start with the couple’s own story. Before they found each other, John and Julie were both married and divorced once before. When they met, it was their fascination with each other’s work and ideas that drew them together. Nowadays, so much emphasis is placed on physical attraction. As Jewish matchmakers, we often tell our clients that, while physical attraction is important, it’s not anywhere near as crucial as the philosophical bonds — your values, your interests, your future goals — that draw couples together.
Just like successful relationships, successful dating takes patience, introspection, and commitment.
John and Julie have closely studied thousands of couples in committed relationships for many years, and they often hold couples workshops. They remind participants that, even in the best of relationships, couples fight, have major disagreements, and disappoint one another. It’s how they handle these setbacks that make all the difference. They consider their mission of helping couples stay together as part of the Jewish value of Tikkun Olam–repairing the world. At Elegant Introductions, we feel the same way about our mission to match Jewish singles looking to find that long-lasting relationship they have always wanted. Just like successful relationships, successful dating takes patience, introspection, and commitment. Contact us today and let us guide you on your journey.
To read the article on the Gottmans and their research, click here.