No matter how thrilled you are for the couple getting married, weddings can bring up a lot of mixed feelings for singles. This is especially true if you’re longing to be married yourself. Admit it: you wish you were under that chuppa, promising to love and cherish your partner. It’s quite normal to feel that way. From our experiences as Jewish matchmakers, here are some tips we’ve discovered to help you deal with these emotions. It’s all about keeping your expectations—not to mention your dignity—intact.
1. Resist the urge to compare yourself to the wedding couple
Picture this. The wedding ceremony begins. You look at the stunning couple. You WANT to celebrate their happiness. But inside, you think, “Why is it them and not me?” If these thoughts pop into your head, just remind yourself: there’s enough love in the world to go around. And yes, there is someone out there for you. It’s never healthy to compare yourself to others. Besides, no matter how happy the new couple is, they’ve got their own issues. Everyone does. That’s one of reasons why it’s traditional for the wedding couple to step on glass and break it. It symbolizes adversity, and working to overcome it.
2. Plan some answers to those nosy questions
If many wedding attendees know you’re single, you just know that someone’s going to ask you if you’re seeing someone. Think about how you’re going to respond. Keep in mind that your social life really is no one’s business but your own, so you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to. You can even steer the question your own way, and talk about any recent personal accomplishments, or maybe an exciting trip you’re planning. The message for those nosy inquisitors—and yourself—is this: you’re fine just the way you are.
3. Look for other singles
Chances are, the happy couple has lots of single friends or relatives. Keep your eyes—and your heart—open for possibilities. You’d be surprised at how many future couples meet each other at weddings. After all, love is in the air. It can be contagious if you approach it sensibly.
4. Go easy on the alcohol and food
You’ve seen this at lots of weddings, not to mention just about any romantic comedy ever made: the single man who parks himself alone at the bar, or the single woman who stands by the food tables. While the urge to drown your sorrows is understandable, nothing looks more desperate—especially at a wedding. So, drink and eat in moderation, and do your best to take part in other wedding rituals, such as
5. Dance, dance, dance
Just about every wedding reception has a dance floor these days. Get on it—even if you’re a lousy dancer, and even if you don’t have a partner. Dance with friends or family. If you meet other singles, ask them to dance. It’s all about joy and celebration. Plus, dancing is exercise, and exercise releases endorphins that naturally make you feel better—even if you think you have two left feet.
Above all, just breathe, and take in all the love and nachas. It’s a blessing to watch two people commit themselves to one another. Be glad that you’re part of it, and take pride in the friends and family who already enrich your life, whether or not you’ve got a wedding ring on your finger.
Remember, in your quest to find a significant other, you don’t have to go it alone. Contact us, and let us help you find the right partner. The next wedding you attend might just be yours.